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23 August 2007 @ 10:56 pm
today was my first day as a junior. yes, i am a third year student at USM in long beach. i couldn't be happier... or more terrified. this semester is going to be a challenge - i can tell already. 2 literature classes!!! what was i thinking??

so my hobby for the next 4 months will be reading... only reading.

i feel like my life is one huge circle. i keep going around and around and i always always end up right in the same spot. im just ready to end in that same spot and stay there. forever.

i had a lot of time to think over the past 2 weeks. i had my tonsils taken out... recovering was a challenge. im definitely glad thats over.

things are okay. can't complain. im just ready for a change.
19 July 2007 @ 10:45 pm
"Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in the peace that comes from knowing that you can know it all. Life's funny that way; once you let go of the wheel you might end up right where you belong." - Little Black Book

i came across this not too long ago and wrote it down. i found it today and it put a smile on my face. it's exactly what i needed to here.

im trying to let go....
06 July 2007 @ 09:57 pm
it is safe to say that i am a broadway fan. when i am in my room by myself, i pretend to be Glinda and i sing "popular" at the top of my lungs. Wicked has been my source of sanity for several years now. I've seen it twice in NYC and I am seeing it on tour in April... i love it THAT much! however, i have a brand new obsession... "Spring Awakening"!! it's AMAZING! i only hope that it is still on broadway the next time i go to New York City!! which i am hoping is sometime soon!

i am in a really good mood... thanks to this amazing music!
30 June 2007 @ 11:34 pm
i have come to the conclusion that i have been very un-lucky.

in the past TWO weeks i have gotten poison ivy, a bad case of strep throat, my very FIRST fever blister, and very bad sun poisoning.

my ankle is swollen almost twice its normal size and i can barely walk. strep throat is healing but im getting my tonsils taken out very soon. poison ivy is almost fully cleared up. and the boy is gone.

overall, it's just a bad case of very bad luck.
25 June 2007 @ 10:07 pm
my sister is leaving for college in a month and a week. i'm more than just a little sad. i'm devestated. i can't imagine a world with my sister not in it. not that she wont be in it, she'll just be 5 hours away. she won't be next door. we won't be able to talk through the walls. she left for her orientation today. she is leaving her old life for her new life very soon. and im not ready to let her grow up.

i am getting my tonsils taken out. not sure when, probably before the summer is over. i am meeting the ear, nose, and throat doctor next monday to set the date. im scared. nobody likes surgery.

im working a lot. im enjoying it, for the most part. some days are better than others, of course. i wont be working as much when school starts, and i really need to save up... the adult world is calling my name and its almost time for me to find my own place.

i met a great guy. honestly, he's the total package. he's the kind of guy that you end up comparing every other guy to... he's that great. i enjoy spending time with him... even though we are both pretty limited on how much time we can actually spend together. i don't want to get my hopes up, but i am hopeful.

i would be lying if i said that i was perfectly content. honestly, i feel like i am unable to achieve contentment. i have come to realize that maybe my expectations are much too high. and it makes me sad.
20 June 2007 @ 05:31 pm
"when you let go of a fantasy, then someone real can come into your life"

.... but do i have to??
12 June 2007 @ 10:13 pm
i am a hopeless romantic. it's just a part of my character. i don't know what made me that way or when i became one. but i am one - a hardcore hopeless romantic.

so i'll just wait patiently for my fairytale. because however lame you think it is, i believe in them. i believe that every person deserves their own kind of fairytale... and i cant wait for mine.

the reason for this particular post is quite interesting... humorous, even.

i am hopeful, very hopeful. i just dont want to get my hopes up.
18 May 2007 @ 06:15 pm
even though today may be just another day for most of you, its not just another day to me. i celebrate my birthday in an extreme way. i will wear a tiara for an entire week if i wish. today is my day. and even though one person in my family doesn't care, thats fine. its my birthday, and ill dance/shop/laugh/flirt/eat/swim/or cry if i want to, dangit.

happy 20th birthday to me... and it does feel different.
10 May 2007 @ 07:37 pm
i graduated today with my Associate's Degree. i guess its kind of a big deal. im halfway through college, which is a reason to celebrate.

its been a happy day... ive spent it with great friends and family. im also in birthday-mode. with one week until my birthday, and less than a week until my birthday celebration, im just all about partay-ing. and 3 weeks til new york city!!!

on another note, there must be something wrong with me. i have come to the conclusion that its me. im the problem. every relationship i have been in has ended (badly or otherwise). and when i think ive met someone new with potential, it "doesnt work out". what are the odds? what are the odds that everything just becomes nothing?? im confused. but then i thought, maybe they'll like me if i put out. or if i was stumbling around all the time. or maybe they would like me if i acted a little less like me, and a little more like the person they want me to be. i might not be making sense. in fact, i dont even understand. im lost. im out of options.

im sick and tired of this circle i keep going around. its time for a change.
03 May 2007 @ 07:06 am
i will be taking my last final at 8am. this is the earliest i've been awake all semester.

today will officially start summer vacation. helloooo summer!!

in a week from today i will graduate. in 2 weeks from tomorrow is my birthday. and in less than 1 month, i will be in new york city.

i have a lot to look forward to.